~the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
I had an epiphany. This summer has not been kind to me. Life changes are occurring, many of which are out of my control, kids are restless and busy at the same time, and I have been working out of the house now more than ever. It is hard to see what is right in front of me. I feel like a zombie most days, get up, workout, shower, go to work, work 8 hours, come home, make dinner, go to bed. What I am failing to realize is that while I am waiting for things to get better, get easier, get happier, I am missing what is right in front of me. Gratitude.
It is hot as hell out, I am constantly all sweaty, sticky and bothered but my kids don’t see me in all my disgust. They want big sweaty hugs, they want to run around with me, ride bikes, and play basketball in the street. They don’t care that I don’t have a sports bra on, or proper non bedroom attire. They just want me. They had been on vacation with family for a week, the longest they have ever been away from me. I was so happy to see them, I just couldn’t stop hugging and kissing them, and they loved every minute of it. One of the most validating things they ever said was that they hadn’t had “real food” in forever. They just wanted “real food” and their real food was my cooking!! Can you believe after fight after fight, night after night, the dinner drama saga that I am witness to, all they wanted was some of mom’s cooking! It is like the sky opened up and rays of sunshine shone down on the dinner table.
I think I forget a lot about what I have, rather than what I want or need. Seeing my friends on lavish vacations, coveting their new cars or their amazing Pinterest worthy birthday parties, messes with my emotions. I feel like I am in this rat race, constantly running, trying to achieve these impossible goals. Lose 10 lbs in 1 week, save at least $10,000 in one year, always have the newest iPhone, out to dinner at the newest fanciest restaurant, keep on trend in clothing so I don’t look like a “MOM” in those dreaded “MOM JEANS”.
via GIPHY I came to a realization while sitting outside on the patio with my boys and helping them build their new legos, that they bought with their hard earned allowance, that this is what my life is about. Here, now, not tomorrow, not 2 weeks from now and not yesterday. Time to get out of the fog.
So today and the days to come I am going to focus on the positive, glass half full ideology, I want to write something I am grateful for every evening. My mother in law had advised me to start a gratitude journal when I was holed up in the hospital on bed rest with my youngest, I halfheartedly attempted to, but now more than ever I want to make sure to focus on the good things in life, the things that make up my day to day, the things that make me the most happy. I encourage you do to the same thing. Everyone gets lost in the shuffle from time to time and it is nice to ground yourself.
What I am grateful for today…
- My kids smiles.
- That I own a new car, a new cell phone, a great TV, Internet, phone package.
- That I can afford the ridiculously expensive electric bill in these summer months.
- That my hair is thick and easy to maintain.
- That I have made and cultivated some very strong relationships with my tribe.
- That my son has finally figured out how to use the inhaler he desperately needs on his own when an allergy attack is triggered.
- That my grill lights on the first attempt of ignition.
- That my kids have the opportunity to have a choice at dinner, that they can complain about the gross green vegetables on the plate, that they can participate in the dinner battle of wills ( guess who wins? ME, every. damn. time.)
- Lastly, I am grateful for my own damn self. I am grateful that I am able to see the sunshine when I need it, able to know when to slow things down and regroup.
Now I challenge you… what are you grateful for?