Evaluating your friendships; Value over Volume

friendship frienamily tribe

When I was younger I valued my friendships with so many people.

I had befriended different groups; athletes, book worms, religion buffs, goths, girlie girls and band geeks. The sheer volume of friendships afforded me the feeling of being loved.  I was able to share a little piece of me with everyone and they would share themselves with me. As I got older and the weight of school, sports and real life became apparent  it was hard to keep in touch with my different groups of friends. A lot of us lost touch, with no one at fault but there are some who have remained a constant.

And to them I am very thankful.

Life is busy, it doesn’t matter who you are, there always seems to be obligations.value friendships You know #adulting. Careers, children, husbands, wives, there is always something pulling you in different directions. It is hard to find time for just yourself let alone your friends who have their own lives to live. In a perfect world I would be able to tackle everything; Health, work, raising kids, nurturing relationships, the list is endless. Time management is key but sometimes I don’t have enough energy to effectively manage time. Some days I just want to lay in bed watch TV all day and do nothing. I think everyone can relate to that. Me, being a woman and all, harbor a lot of guilt for not making more things a priority.

One of those things is not my frienamily.

My frienamily/tribe are my closest groups of friends. I still do have somewhat of a distinction between groups. They are the people that I confide in, trust and know they will never be hurt by life getting in the way of seeing them. These women have lifted me up and reminded me what I am worth at times when I have felt defeated. These are the women that I need to put me in my place when necessary. Most importantly these women have accepted me as I am, loud, rambunctious, opinionated, tons of fun and above all else REAL. We share interests and experiences both bad and good, we set out on fun adventures, try new things and I wouldn’t want to go through life without them.  These are my people, Meredith Grey may only have one person but I have a few.  I do not have as many friends as I used to (despite my friend count on FB) but the friends I do have, are of way more value. Each bringing a unique quality to my life.
Virgin Wine Club

I have been introduced to many amazing women and some not so amazing women in my life.

And that is ok. Two people’s personalities may not fit well together and there is nothing wrong with reevaluating your friendships.  As a matter of fact I encourage you to do so. If it hurts to be around another person then that friendship is not worth your time regardless of what that person may have done for you in the past. It is not mental healthy to be a part of a friendship that pulls more than it pushes. And it is ok to walk away and never look back.

As for my friends I have made, that continue to offer support, care and love, I want to say thank you. You ladies know who you are. You bring laughs to my day with your funny meme texts, warmth to my heart when I am in dire need of it, and inspiration when I lack it. Viewing myself through your eyes has been enlightening and encouraging.

Someone once told me that you should surround yourself with people you want to emulate, people that inspire you to be better, do better, I am confident in saying I have found them.




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