Create your YES! In a world of NO.

Why is it every time something amazing happens, it is followed by some type of set back? Not all large set backs but a set back nonetheless.

High School graduation, you got accepted into a fabulous college, top choice!

graduationYou work your way through 4 grueling years of 8 am classes, 2 am parties and managed to nail that internship that you had coveted. You are excited to take on the world. But come to find out your job search is futile. The amount of money spent on a college education vs. the amount of salary offered as your first ‘real” job is astonishing. Boy did those college professors lead you astray. 

You get this amazing promotion that you have been working so hard for, but now you working round the clock to prove you were the right choice.

woman promotionSo much more so that the time you used to spend at lunch to get a workout in, is no longer occupied by that workout but filled with emails to respond to and tedious tasks. You no longer get up excited for the day, now you are exhausted and can barely keep those eyes open on the morning commute. 

You start your family. 

Your beautiful new addition in your life is a dream come true. newborn baby blissIt is an amazing feeling. The best ever. But the nights are restless, you are overwhelmed with responsibility and the person you once knew is no longer in existence. You would obviously never trade that bundle of joy for your previous life but your loss of yourself is a minor setback nevertheless. 

You are a new homeowner.

new homeowner keysCongratulations!!! You are #adulting at it’s finest.  You have worked hard, saved money, watched endless hours of HGTV, gone to settlement, have your new keys in your hand, and it is moving day! Yea! Your U-Haul is bursting and the excitement is overwhelming.  You open your door for the first time to find an inch of water on all your floors!!!! Well, damn.

It is the summer months.

You finally set aside time to take a much needed vacation with the family. No expense is too grand. You are doing it up this time. You deserve it. Upon arrival home, your car is sounding funny. You open up the house to a very warm, sticky feeling, why is the air off? You start to unpack your suitcases and throw a load of laundry in, but the washing machine won’t turn on. UGHHHHHH!!!! 

You have been married for years, your children are teenagers, you are flourishing in your career, you are finally getting to all those yoga classes you have always wanted to do.

looking through texts You have the energy of a 21 year old and it shows.  You feel great, everything has come together, but one night your husband is in the shower and his text alert goes off. You climb over to his bedside table to take a peak, after all it is pretty late,  and your worst fear is on that screen. How could he? You have given him everything! You are in the best shape of your life, you look amazing, feel amazing, and he is screwing around with some 20 year old assistant at his office.

This is everyday life.

At any given moment anyone has the ability to just QUIT. Let everything go, walk away and never look back. But what makes us stay? What makes us want to keep fighting and get through these trials? Why are some of us able to navigate the waters better than others?

There are so many circumstances that are unforeseen and at times unmanageable. But what give us the “will to live”? I mean really,  how do we get through the hardest times of our lives? How does one person seem like nothing can get them down, while another is curled up in the fetal position in the corner of their room?

Below are some tips and steps that many people use to weather the storm efficiently and effectively. positive women

How To Create Your Yes, In A World Of No!!

  1. Assess the situation
    1. How bad is this truly? Is this my life is over bad or I can handle this bad?
    2. What do I need to do first to tackle this. 
    3. Make a plan. 
  2. Cry, Scream, throw things (only half kidding)
    1. Getting your emotions out. 
      1. It is NEVER good to keep your feelings bottled in. There is a time and place to unleash these feelings but overall expressing your feelings is vital in recovering. 
  3. Surrounding oneself with positive people.
    1. These can be friends, family or even a therapist. 
      1. There is no shame in therapy. Not all your friends want to hear about how tragic your life is constantly. While it sucks and half the time you cannot believe you are dealing with this, save all the details for a professional. They are used to the constant negativity, they went to school for it. 🙂
      2. In the same respect, if your friend or family member asks you how you are doing, tell them the truth! They are asking because they want to know, they want to lend an ear.
  4. Having an Attitude of Gratitude
    1. Taking in the current situation and focusing on what is positive in your life. And being thankful for it. It can be very challenging to get to this point. Get yourself a pretty journal from Homegoods, Ross or Marshalls (they always have the cutest ones, cheap) And compile a list of the positives in your life. i.e
      1. You are in decent health
      2. You have some pretty amazing friends
      3. You are a great do-it-yourselfer
      4.  You have a job, income coming in
      5. etc.
  5. Recognize your fault in the situation. And when you see that it isn’t your fault, and realize who’s fault it is. BLAME THE SHIT OUT OF THEM/IT! Take comfort in knowing, the job market isn’t your fault, the breakdown of your home appliances at the same time is not your fault, the cheating husband is not your fault. etc
  6. Immediately forgive them/it. This will be the hardest thing you will ever do. But once that forgiveness is given, you can start to move past this. You can start to feel confident again, free to dream, and go after your #lifegoals. 
  7. Read something positive. Whether it is good book or just motivational memes. Words make a huge difference. They can set you up for a positive outlook. 
  8. Sing a song, loudly. Any song, heavy metal, rap, country, pop sing it hard! Preferably in your car, so no one has to hear you, unless you are a beautiful singer, then sing in the grocery store. Hey, I like to dance in the grocery store. There is no shame in my game.  Music is very therapeutic.
  9. Understand that some things will take time to heal. Not everything can be solved within a day. Loss is a hard one to get over, and sometimes you never truly get over it, but it does get better. Day by day. 
  10. Remembering that your situation is not unique. Chances are there are others who have shared your situation or have experienced an eerily similar situation. Then realize you are unique, you are amazing! This means you do not have to suffer alone.  
This is your life.

It is up to you and only you to make the best out of it.

Create a positive outlook each day for yourself, remembering that almost everyday there will be a setback, but you can handle it. Lean on friends, a good book, a good tune to get you through those toughest of times. Focus on your well being for a while. Understand that your mental state plays the biggest role in your life. If you remain positive you can get through anything. 

positive vibes nelsnotes.comCreate your YES! In a world of NO!

 

 

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