You know those days when everything seems to go wrong? Like completely and utterly unruly? And no matter how much you set yourself up for success, you are a hot mess and can’t get out of your own way?
Below are 15 ways to ensure you have a terrible day.
1.Start your day off with 1 ply toilet paper! It is literally the worst. Uncomfortable, breaks upon usage. It has ONE job, and it fails miserably.
2. Love that fresh cup of java? Just go ahead and pour it down the front of your shirt! Might as well get a head start, you know it is going to happen anyway.
3 Spend extra time checking Facebook while you should be paying attention to the eggs you are making for breakfast. Yea well, everyone loves their eggs extra crispy!
4. Grab all your bags at one time. Lunch bag, gym bag, purse and thermos (with your fresh new coffee). Then dig your keys out of your purse. You are sure to drop everything and cry a little bit because you are now 12 minutes late.
5.Feeling a little distraught? Like to use music as therapy? Turn on your jams super loud, like the loudest the speakers can go. Rock out! No worries the ambulance behind you with its lights on can wait until you finish your much needed jam sesh.
6. Pull into the parking lot at work, eye up the best spot across the lot, super close to the entrance. Never-mind the spots semi-close, go for that amazing spot, after all you deserve it after the morning you’ve had .
7.30 minutes late to work, (the spot didn’t work out and the semi-close spots were no longer available) walk in like you own the place, act like everyone else is early and you are right on time.
8. Make sure to spill the remainder of your coffee on your keyboard at work. After all, the pressing duties can wait another 30 minutes.
9. Lunch Time! Heat up your soup so it is piping hot, like McDonald’s law suit HOT. You know by the time you actually get to eat it, it will be cold. Ehhh or scorching your legs because you wore a damn skirt, and heels that you look like baby Bambi when you walk!!!! DAMN IT!!!
10. Take your afternoon break and catch up on celebrity news, TMZ.com has some great videos. Answer your work phone like: “Thank you for watching, ahem, calling”
11. Leave work a little late today. After all you were 30 minutes late coming in. Be a team player. The traffic won’t be so bad on your commute home.
12. Easy peasy dinner; spaghetti with marinara. You need to eat your emotions and carb load after your disastrous day. You have thawed out Italian sausage, score! Slice that baby up, pan fry, boil some water. #winning
13. Immediately regret the decision for making dinner at all. Your almost perfect score at multitasking has flat lined and the water has boiled over, the sausage is burnt, and all because you wanted to take a quick refreshing shower to rinse off the chaos of your life.
14. Get out the BIG WINE glass, you know the one. A gift given as a joke for Christmas from the girls.via GIPHY Haha ladies the joke is on you, Momma is going to fill this to the brim. Damn this Day.
15. Finally, clean, sleepy and in bed. Time to finish that bottle, I mean glass of wine, tune into the best Fall TV, and sleep. But don’t (yawn) …. forget… to …plug… in.. your… iphone…zzzzzzzz
- I will not confirm or deny that any or all of these things have happened to me. But what I can confirm is that after writing this article, I am able to laugh out loud and reflect positively on my life. Care to share your “Perfect Storm of Chaos”? Comment below.